Deadpool vs KH vs The Wizard of Oz
by BleachedMerc
Summary: Hey, kids! It's your old pal, Deadpool! Click on my story. C'mon, you know you wanna! There's magical friendship inside! And maybe ponies!


So I was chillin' with my bunny buddy Bugs when we decided to take full advantage of Spring Break and head to Pismo Beach. But instead of tunneling (like we had been doing for a good six feet now), I decided to take a three hour tour. Sadly, Bugs couldn't come because he was indisposed in the hole. I left him a sack to sleep in so he wouldn't get cold, so no hard feelings when I'm chugging brews with some busty babes dancing on the beach.

Anyway, we make it to the tour (oh, did I forget to mention that I picked up a drifter?) and luckily there's one boat left. So Sam (the drifter) gets on the boat, but I'm all skeptical cuz the captain's this real fat guy and I'm thinking his rusty tugboat can't possibly hold him, Sam, and all my rocket launchers and machine guns. Normally in a situation like this, I'd just kick Sam off the boat, but after giving me so many free subscriptions to these great girly mags, I didn't have the heart to drown him. So I just shot fatty a couple of times, stole his captain's hat (did he ever clean this thing? It's got blood and bullet holes in it!), and took the rust bucket out for a _four_ hour tour. Yeah, I know how to party!

I pulled out the map I swiped off Bugs and tried to figure out how to get to Pismo Beach when all of a sudden, this funky storm hits. Normally, a little rain doesn't hurt anybody, but _kids_ were falling out of the sky and Al Roker couldn't had been more wrong with his forecast. So some dumb nut with a ball hits the poop deck and all of a sudden, we're not in Kansas anymore. He starts asking me all these hick questions with a real backwater "ya" at the end of each sentence. I shot him and dumped him overboard. Redheads scare me.

A couple more brats came pouring, and while I was trying to be the dutiful captain and rid my ship of infestation, Sam was doing typical touristy stuff. He had his camera out, taking pictures of all the devastation and laughing like it was Mardi Gras and as if the little redheaded girl had flashed him for some beads. Obviously, the flash was from my gun and the beads were bullets, but still, Sam was having a great time. And that's all that really matters on these tours.

So the storm's still raging when the boat capsized. Sam and I washed up on shore and saw some more weird kids. I wanted to shoot them—they looked like they hadn't had their measles shots—but he insisted on introducing himself to the natives. So while he runs up and says "I am Sam!" to everyone, I go looking for my map. Maybe we were on Pismo Beach and didn't know it! But wouldn't you know it? When I actually found the damn thing, the island we were on kind of exploded. I lost the map _and_ Sam, and somehow managed to go careening through space without a space suit.

When I came to, it was safe to say I wasn't at Pismo Beach. I had crashed on top of my (stolen) boat, which had crashed on top of some lug with yellow clown shoes. You could only see the shoes jutting out from under all the debris, so I figured I was in some kind of circus land. So I get off the boat and that's when I realize my dog's here, too! How'd he make it out of the fights? I had sold him to Michael Vick for a c-note. I was about to tell him he was a bad boy for not bringing me a trophy from Vick's place when some fairy shows up and thanks me for killing some evil witch.

Okay, that's not really what happened. This broad finds me in the alley, sees the dead guy's shoes, and gets into a brawl with me over who gets to keep them. Now, I had some perfectly good steel-toed boots on, so I didn't really _need_ clown shoes at that moment, but seeing her jump into the trash heap to fish 'em out made me super competitive. So I whacked the broad, stole the shoes, and made a run for it. I found a good place to hide in some jewelry store where the old coot running the joint had the good foresight to offer posh, leather seating to his customers. Sitting down, I decided to give the shoes a try. You wouldn't think it, but those obnoxious clogs were actually pretty comfy! I paraded around the store with them for a bit, and that's when it happened. I must've rattled something loose in the heel, because I suddenly got one nasty cramp in my foot! I jerked the shoe off and turned it upside down to shake the thing clean. Some weird house key fell out, and the moment it hit the floor, grandpa jewels stopped spit shining his stuff and lost his shit.

"You've got the Keyblade!"


End file.
